What would you do?

It is the fantasy of tens of millions of Americans; to win the big Mega Millions lottery jackpot.  The next drawing has an annuity value of over $150M USD.  That is a huge sum of money for one person to potentially win.  I recently replied, albeit jokingly, to the question What do you want for Christmas? with "A winning lottery ticket."


My friend then challenged me, and asked, "What would you do with all that money?"


I was gobsmacked.  My first inclination was to answer in the standard, selfish method "Get out of debt, buy a big house, greed, blah, blah, blah.  But, I would like to be able to teach."  Thankfully, one of the kids ran into the room and interrupted the exchange.  But my mind has not let go of the answer; my visceral, self-focused response really troubled me.


I realized, what I want, and really need, is not things, so much, but the experiences that a life unhindered by debt and physical attachments/confinements could bring.  For example, I am not truly happy with where I live.  Not that it isn't nice, more so, it is not right for me, my family, our interests and our ambitions.  I think there are many in a similar state of mind.  Hw can we be freed from our worldly bondage?


So, in thinking about it, I decided I'd leave a permanent record, so to speak, of my top 10 ways I'd manage such a windfall.  Of course, I would need to bring my family in line with these goals, but this is my fantasy right now.  And unlike a certain late-night talk show host, we are starting with number 1...

1. Get out of debt.  I cannot help anyone else until I clean up my own affairs.
2. Buy a home on a large piece of land, preferably farmland, that I could ensure remains farmland, but allow for us to use it for other purposes, too.  Key point is to what those purposes are is good and right.
3. Help our church find a permanent home.  It seems incongruous with my other objectives, but the current transient state creates some unique challenges.
4. Ensure my children's future; spiritually, financially, academically, artistically.
5. Help our family, where we can.  We have a big family.  Really big.  We're quite blessed that way.
6. Support specific causes, rewarding those who do much with little.  We have some very specific groups we've worked with that do great things with minimal resources, bring HOPE, and impact lives now by serving, and help people to be prepared for the future.
7. Travel to see the important places in world and natural history; to discover and learn.  That includes the seeing the great works.
8. Go back to school for a graduate degree.
9. Get a new car (no, not an exotic).  Given number 2, I'm more inclined to get a pickup truck.  And a couple of trailers to haul the other four-wheel or four-legged accessories.
10. Invest in the future.  Read into that what you will, I have some ideas that may surprise you, but I'll keep those to myself for now.

A long time ago, I was asked what were my dreams, my ambitions.  I struggled, not because I didn't have them.  No, it was because I could not find a clip art photo to stick on my fridge, to remind me daily.  For the most part, the things I wanted, and still want, are pictures in the mind (OK, the car is tangible but subject, like all things, to rust and decay, as is the property, but I am not going into specifics).  How do you picture the smell of a campfire the next day?  The tracks of wildlife in the fresh snow?  The moist air of the forest on a spring morning?  The inquisitive look of awe of a child seeing an eagle in flight or a bear and her cubs?  The sight of your daughter, confident and glowing, in the saddle of a mare, reins in hand?  These are not things; these are indelible memories etched into our minds and souls by divine providence.


In the end, I can only imagine; perhaps dream; I can't expect to get what I want. But I know if i try sometime, I just might find, I'll get what I need.  Not that two are always disharmonious.  On the eve of the Christmas holidays, I struggle both with what I want, and what I want to give.  Being able to give much more is what I really want.  Now, I need to find the methods and means to make this happen.  That is my dream.